William Franklin Perry, aka dad. He left for Home on October 28, 2013. A year ago yesterday.
For a year now, I have thought about dad everyday briefly and I see him every day on my phone since his picture is on my screen. Every day I try hard to not allow my emotions, grief, and sadness to hijack my day because I know I have responsibilities in order to function. But tonight - wow - I miss dad terribly.
My dad was probably one of fewest I knew that never judged me. Although he would sit and give me lectures about the importance of paying bills, getting an education and all that - he did it with so much love. I made SO many mistakes especially after graduating from high school and I knew I drove my parents nuts, especially dad. He saw himself in me and I can imagine that drove him even crazier. Dad rolled his eyes so many times with me, gave me those "come on!" look, shook his head countless times but he did it with love. He always said, "I worry about you", "ILY" (sign), I miss him. Every time I got up to go somewhere in our tiny 4-bedrooms house, he would ask, "where are you going?" Full disclosure - I ask Neva this all the times now in our two bedrooms condo. I understood why he asked. I want Neva to stay with me...not be locked up in her bedroom.
Not only was I challenging, but I was also just plain stupid - a kid that rarely thought twice before doing something. However, looking back now, my dad was my anchor to a boat that floated aimlessly in a vast strange ocean you call life. Dad was the one who reeled me back to dock and reminded me of how important it was to stay true to myself and do what I needed to do to succeed. My esteemed dad, he was a poignant leader in our small yet important deaf community. He stood steadfast in his morals and values and to the responsibilities of a leader in a deaf community. Dad was a great role model for me. I always aimed to please him in a good way. In many ways, I wanted to be like him.
What dad and I had in common was our sense of humor - we get each other. My dad and mom had something very special going on between them too and I miss watching them tease each other and I know this is a huge part that mom misses the most about dad now.
There are so many memories I have with dad over the years. One of the millions of things he taught my sisters and I was the importance of acquiring humility. To this day, my morals are all in one way or another tied to humility. We were discussing something that we were achieving at and I believe it was sports and dad stopped us all and talked about how important it was to be humble and grateful to opportunities we got in order to succeed. I think and still believe that it was a very instrumental part of teaching he had for us growing up because it still applies.
In my early 20's when I was living with my parents and living my rebellious years, dad and I often played our favorite game, Triominos. We didn't follow the rules of the game and created our own to make it more fun - looking back, it was a way maybe unconsciously or on purpose - keeping me out of trouble. Ever since I left home for good, I never played that game and even now I have a new unopened case of Trionimos, it will never ever be the same. I have not yet dared to open it. Dad and I were competitive and so was the rest of my family :) I love them all! Imagine Monopoly night with the family - rarely did it ever end well as dad was always the esteemed banker :).But my time with dad playing Triominos, ask my mom, we played a lot. During the time we played, we talked about life. We talked about stuff that may not matter to others but this is what I miss most about dad.
The day I finally graduated from college, my entire family all were in attendance. My dad was there teary-eyed and when I finished my Masters, I was able to catch him outside of Field House before everyone out stampeded out - we hugged and sobbed. I cried because I was so happy I could make my dad proud and my dad cried because he was so happy I was able to reach my goal. It was a moment I will never forget.
The night before his knee replacement surgery...we talked on FT and he shared his fears with me about how the surgery could go bad for him. I reassured him that life would be better for him afterwards being able to walk more instead of sitting down. I wished him well and the next time I was on FT with him was the night after the surgery. The surgery was successful but he was in a lot of pain and on medication. We talked briefly and I thought to myself, whew! He made it! However, two days later while I was at work, I received a text from mom saying..."he's gone". I grew frantic because what did that mean? Dad is gone? I waited for some time before mom confirmed dad died.
Life has never been the same for me...even when after Shell died....this was another blow. My anchor...my dock...my loving dad...gone. He was a beautiful soul...troubled at times but he showed up every time.
Dad was a great role model for me. He was.
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